Tryna use my laptop, but where the fuck's my mouse at?
Feelin' Hanna Barbera, I guess that makes me a house cat
(Meow)
Tom
Ford
Mitsubishi roll up (I can't drive)
Can't fuckin roll a blunt, so I guess I'll fill my bowl up
Whatchu mean I'm outta green, I'll switch to Prussian blue

I'm Bob Ross, bitch
and I'm stylin on the rest of you

Stroke game immaculate, and I'm not talkin' canvas
Brush up against me so I can feel how that ass is
(mmm)
Dress so white, you could be a Pollock masterpiece
(Splatter)
I'm no Jackson, but I could do my best at least

Lemme take you home and add you to my gallery
And don't be askin questions 'bout my job or 'bout my salary
(I'm broke!)
Celery, spinach, I got all the green
But my salad needs some dressing if you catch what I mean

And I ain't fly like a G6
Writing down rhymes when my bougie G2 clicks
Gnawing on the ends, got teeth like a beaver
Did you see that reference going south? I didn't neither
(Immature.)
I want Miley Cyrus to wreck her ball right into Bieber
Juicy J not far behind like a golden retriever
(Woof!)
Diggin' up bones of these white kids careers
(What career?)

Look J, I know you got control issues, your prints are on the paint
We say no to shitty pop, but Juicy J can't


But I'm a hypocrite
'Cause there's some British boys, and I would give them all of it

And you can call me Diana
Doin' the kind of things that would embarrass David Banner
But I don’t play
What makes you beautiful is your O-face
Keep you up all night and take you home with me, but I can't guarantee
That you'll be waking up with any midnight memories


Damn you're smokin' hot, I swear I got a Camel Crush on you
You wanna join my pack, I swear I'll have you howlin' at the moon
Werewolf, wear fur, wear sweats they're gon' be on the floor
Lycanthropy, like hands on me
Kingdom? Animalia
Phylum? Chordata
Class? Mammalia
Tonight? All on ya

This little piggy got ya screamin' Big Bad Mama
I’m not blowin' down your house, but I'm blowin' ya regardless

But
For real though
I’ve been wanting to rap since I was 10 years old
Osaka asking “Chiyo-chan, why are you flying?”
'Cause I just dropped an Azumanga reference without even trying
(Nerd)

I woke up like this
Bey got me feelin so flawless
Sorry your highness, ya got me feelin like Midas
I'ma turn these bars to gold just a little bit quicker, don’t bicker

Ianthe all on his mouth like liquor
Ianthe all on his mouth like liquor
Pound it back like a shot, I’m not designed for the sippers
I don’t need to be nursed, I’m well aware I got sicker
I get under your skin, lyric game so subdermal
My rhymes are so ill, they’re declaring them terminal
(I'm sorry)
Just boot up your monitor, log on and you’ll see
“Hello world, you bitches weren’t ready for me”


[Outro]

My name is Ianthe
(Seriously)
I drink Moscato like it’s water and I collect plastic dinosaurs
(I'm really cool!)
I probably have a crush on you
(Yeah!)
I own too many pictures of Bob Marley
(Maybe.)
I don’t want to admit the number of times I’ve superglued my fingertips together as an adult
(It's a lot.)
I think jelly is a food group
(It is!)
I dropped out of grad school before I turned 21
(Whatever.)
My favorite movie is Matilda
(Fuck you.)
My feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit
(CRACKA!)
If you judge people based on their musical tastes, you’re an elitist asshole
I want Blue Ivy Carter and North West to be the next Salt n Pepa
(YES.)
I’m lactose intolerant
I wear a size 12 wide in mens shoes
(Yikes.)
I have a crush on Steve Buscemi
(Whatever!)
I don’t speak that much Spanish
(Dios mio!)
Evanthe gang or die motherfuckers


Shouts out to Jessica
Shouts out to Steve the Dutch
Shouts out to my Cheetah Sisters



Stop fuckin' telling me I’m white when I’m mixed
Pink hair don’t care
Bitch